Kinda Gloomy

I have got an answer, I want to know the answer and had preparations for it. However, it will not go away just like that. My spas friends thx to CY, asked me if I am attached. I seriously wanted to say yes, but the answer is no. It felt terrible to answer this question, but its a fact and i have to get over it.

CY - Dun worry spas are my friends there's no need to hide from them. I won't blame u.

I just got the answer yesterday and i can handle the fact that its not going to happen. I do not blame her as a relationship requires both people to be happy for it to happen. From what i infer, there are other things she had in mind before even considering whether she wanted a relationship. There are some things that she can't let go of and i am sure that she had her reasons.

I am obviously better as a friend and i rather have her as a good friend than lose the friendship. The time spent with her has definitely not been waste of time. I thoroughly enjoyed the time spent. I feel that our explanation to each other havent been very clear, its like downplaying the situation to the point because I rather have her as a friend then lose the friendship. But its also better to not informed of some of the reasons. Ignorance is bliss.

Time will heal all wounds as many dramas always remind us. It is a slow process... The times when I used to think of her, the person i want to see when i feel unhappy, the person I think of during the most difficult times. My nearest and most recent objective in life. Now all these will have to change.

One of the best friends i can turn to when i am feeling sad. A friend who is willing to listen to my complains and be there for me. A friend who i can be comfortable to go out with. And one of my best female friends. Life sucks when events like these happens. But then again, when it havent started its much easier to end it. I am glad I seeked an answer, such that it didn't drag too long till it becomes a problem.

I have lost a direction in life for now, but i am sure i will gain a new one in time to come.